Funny pool phrases

Terry Ardeno

Terry Ardeno

I still love my wife
Silver Member
Over the years, I heard several funny phrases from pooldom that stuck in my head. Here's a few...

"The balls don't stay loyal to anyone for long" = No matter how good a roll or bad a roll you got, other people get good and bad rolls also. If you're shooting "lights out", just wait. The balls will turn on you soon enough.

"The balls know who's winning" = When a player gets several great rolls, including slopping in off other balls, when YOU'RE losing. Or visa-versa.

"The Dribble Stroke" = Grady Mathews has said this on Accu-Stats tapes.
When you totally mess up a stroke, often when trying to just bunt a ball ever so slightly. AKA as having a hitch in your stroke on an important shot.

"There's snow in the subway" = Snow (cue ball) subway (pocket). Someone scratched by putting the cue ball in a pocket.

"Chicken bone in your throat (or opponants) = Choking on a shot.

Any that come to your mind?
 
I'm stealing this from another poster, I don't know who but I read it in another thread not too long ago and it is one of the funniest lines I've ever heard. I've used it at the poolhall several times.

Player A: "How did I miss that shot?"
Player B: "Because there's no pocket there!"

I LOVE IT!!!
 
lights_out said:
I'm stealing this from another poster, I don't know who but I read it in another thread not too long ago and it is one of the funniest lines I've ever heard. I've used it at the poolhall several times.

Player A: "How did I miss that shot?"
Player B: "Because there's no pocket there!"

I LOVE IT!!!
Click to expand...
I ready this one on here too. I don't remember who it was but I have used it recently and gotten a few laughs.

BVal
 
Two funny stories that I was witness too....the first one happened to me.


Story One: I am breaking in a nine ball tournament match. I am playing a great player who is also a very quiet guy. I break the balls and the cue ball jumps straight up and busts out the table light...meanwhile, the nine ball shoots into the top left corner pocket. My opponent quickly says, without hesitation, "Dang Aaron...you are playing lights out tonight."

Story Two:

Player A asks Player B: "Hey Joe, Did you win your match?"
Player B says: "Heck no, he got lucky!"
Player A replies: "Yea, lucky he drew your ass."
 
I heard the late great Fountain Inn Red Willis once say...."the guy is such a nit that if he was playing a $10 set you couldn't get him to post up a set & 1/2"!!!:D
 
A player after getting a bad roll: "How could the pool gods do that to me after all these years of devotion?"

Opponent commenting on a players questionable tactical choice: "the last time that move worked, my father was in diapers!"

Boston Shorty used to say "I'm gonna shoot you right between the eyes" to some of his opponents.
 
Are you ever going to make a ball...even the pockets are laughing at you. Johnnyt
 
Well, this is my line that I like to use when I have a scheduled time to meet up with somebody to play ( used best when my opponent has just got on the front-of-the-room action table, in front of the houseman and all the usual sweaters/railbirds ) - I walk into the poolroom and up to the table at our appointed time, and in a somewhat obnoxiously loud voice say : " I'm just like a Rolex watch - Good looking and always on time "
 
During a game once I said "The cue ball hates me tonight."

My opponent replied "What do you expect? You keep hitting it with a stick!"
 
I rememeber playing pool against a very good player as an old timer is watching i am running through the rack very nicely,he says "We should take this kid on the road.",then i miss a routine shot and he says, "We wont need much gas.":D
 
Lol

Fast Lenny said:
I rememeber playing pool against a very good player as an old timer is watching i am running through the rack very nicely,he says "We should take this kid on the road.",then i miss a routine shot and he says, "We wont need much gas.":D
Click to expand...


Now, that is pretty witty.:D :D

Gary
 
Fast Lenny said:
I rememeber playing pool against a very good player as an old timer is watching i am running through the rack very nicely,he says "We should take this kid on the road.",then i miss a routine shot and he says, "We wont need much gas.":D
Click to expand...
That one is classic.
 
An argument between husband and wife. Wife used to play pretty good and he still plays really well. They were arguing in the back seat of the vehicle while I was up front listening. They were arguing about a 9 ball game. She told him to step up and he would get the 5 and out. I spilled my drink all over me laughing so hard. Honest, this is a true story.

Gary
 
Terry Ardeno said:
Over the years, I heard several funny phrases from pooldom that stuck in my head. Here's a few...

"The balls don't stay loyal to anyone for long" = No matter how good a roll or bad a roll you got, other people get good and bad rolls also. If you're shooting "lights out", just wait. The balls will turn on you soon enough.

"The balls know who's winning" = When a player gets several great rolls, including slopping in off other balls, when YOU'RE losing. Or visa-versa.

"The Dribble Stroke" = Grady Mathews has said this on Accu-Stats tapes.
When you totally mess up a stroke, often when trying to just bunt a ball ever so slightly. AKA as having a hitch in your stroke on an important shot.

"There's snow in the subway" = Snow (cue ball) subway (pocket). Someone scratched by putting the cue ball in a pocket.

"Chicken bone in your throat (or opponants) = Choking on a shot.

Any that come to your mind?
Click to expand...

I like: the balls don't go where you want them to, they go where you put them!
 
My favorite Grady story/saying from Accu-stat tapes is when he says that every night when you and your girl get to the hotel when you are on the road you should put an orange and a five ball on the dresser and as soon as she can tell them apart it is time for a new girlfriend.
 
After playing below my usual standard a while back my team captain looked at me & said "Who are you? What have you done with Ade?"

Not bad but I've heard it a few times now.:(
 
A few that come to mind.

Keith McCready has just broken the balls in 9-ball and decides to give them some direction. So he commands them, "Take your places"!

Another Keithism when the cue ball was slowly rolling into position, "Get your driver's license"!

And finally one more gem from the lips of the great Keithly. It was his turn in a One Pocket match, and the table had just opened up, "Time to get the troops out of the hot sun".

One of Ronnies favorite lines after his opponent had dogged a shot, "Did you see that? It went off in his hand".

I used this line once when a guy asked me how come I was so lucky all the time. I told him, "I raised these balls since they were little bitty marbles". Don't ask me where that came from.
 
lights_out said:
I'm stealing this from another poster, I don't know who but I read it in another thread not too long ago and it is one of the funniest lines I've ever heard. I've used it at the poolhall several times.

Player A: "How did I miss that shot?"
Player B: "Because there's no pocket there!"

I LOVE IT!!!
Click to expand...

Thanks lights_out! That's from ME! :D :D :D I use it all the time, and it always gets a laugh!

"Seriously...all kiddin' aside...Know WHY you missed that shot?...Because there's NO pocket there!" (while pointing to where the ball hit the rail)

Scott Lee
www.poolknowledge.com
 
Thecoats said:
My favorite Grady story/saying from Accu-stat tapes is when he says that every night when you and your girl get to the hotel when you are on the road you should put an orange and a five ball on the dresser and as soon as she can tell them apart it is time for a new girlfriend.
Click to expand...

Some of the very funniest lines have been uttered by "The Professor" himself, Grady Mathews....


* "He scrutinized the multi colored spheres longer than the time I took to select my 2nd wife."

* "I'll give him a 1 way ticket to anywhere in the world, provided he stay a year."

*"What a splendid speciman of womankind."

*"That cue looks like an 8th grade woodshop project, with a D grade to boot."

*"That's his power break, which won't hurt our ears."
 
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