Hey, Jay Helfert

!Smorgass Bored

Hump ? What HUMP ?
Gold Member
JoeyA. is exhausted from looking behind doors and under tables for you. You woofed at him for $100 a game one pocket and now you can't be found.
JoeyA. has given me permission to PM you his cell number and arrange the time and table.
Doug
( do me a favor and don't scare poor JoeyA. with a big bag of money, you know he's just a small town boy )
 
JoeyA. Is On One PUI Warning

I'm feeling really bad for my buddy JoeyA.

JoeyA. went all the way up to the DCC at great expense and can't find any of the AZBers that wanted to play pool. Today, he hired ORKIN to look in all the dark little crevices and hidey holes and they still couldn't find anyone.

As if that's not bad enough, he's been running around with Bora-Driver and having a few cocktails and the same Louisville Police that confiscated Bucktooth's keno board have issued JoeyA. a WUI (Walking Under the Influence) and put him on his first warning for a PUI (Poolplaying Under the Influence). This is the perfect time for Jay to come up for air and locate JoeyA. (while he's 3 1/2 sheets to the winds, has cast off all lines and thinks it's a perfect time to go sailing)......

Jay, you woofed it up for months and now you won't belly up to the table like a man. How can you ever show your face in any big city poolroom after this gets around ?

Doug
( play JoeyA. some one pocket and then some banks..... Joey is like a kid in a carnival just about now........and looking desperately for the nekkid lady tent ) :)
 
Smorgass Bored said:
I'm feeling really bad for my buddy JoeyA.

JoeyA. went all the way up to the DCC at great expense and can't find any of the AZBers that wanted to play pool. Today, he hired ORKIN to look in all the dark little crevices and hidey holes and they still couldn't find anyone.

As if that's not bad enough, he's been running around with Bora-Driver and having a few cocktails and the same Louisville Police that confiscated Bucktooth's keno board have issued JoeyA. a WUI (Walking Under the Influence) and put him on his first warning for a PUI (Poolplaying Under the Influence). This is the perfect time for Jay to come up for air and locate JoeyA. (while he's 3 1/2 sheets to the winds, has cast off all lines and thinks it's a perfect time to go sailing)......

Jay, you woofed it up for months and now you won't belly up to the table like a man. How can you ever show your face in any big city poolroom after this gets around ?

Doug
( play JoeyA. some one pocket and then some banks..... Joey is like a kid in a carnival just about now........and looking desperately for the nekkid lady tent ) :)

John Schmidt is an AZBer. How much does Joey A want to play him for?
 
Hiring ORKIN!!

Smorgass Bored said:
I'm feeling really bad for my buddy JoeyA.

JoeyA. went all the way up to the DCC at great expense and can't find any of the AZBers that wanted to play pool. Today, he hired ORKIN to look in all the dark little crevices and hidey holes and they still couldn't find anyone.

As if that's not bad enough, he's been running around with Bora-Driver and having a few cocktails and the same Louisville Police that confiscated Bucktooth's keno board have issued JoeyA. a WUI (Walking Under the Influence) and put him on his first warning for a PUI (Poolplaying Under the Influence). This is the perfect time for Jay to come up for air and locate JoeyA. (while he's 3 1/2 sheets to the winds, has cast off all lines and thinks it's a perfect time to go sailing)......

Jay, you woofed it up for months and now you won't belly up to the table like a man. How can you ever show your face in any big city poolroom after this gets around ?

Doug
( play JoeyA. some one pocket and then some banks..... Joey is like a kid in a carnival just about now........and looking desperately for the nekkid lady tent ) :)

You should have called me before hiring ORKIN, all my Ants work there, I could have gotten you a deal!! :eek:
 
Smorgass Bored said:
I'm feeling really bad for my buddy JoeyA.

JoeyA. went all the way up to the DCC at great expense and can't find any of the AZBers that wanted to play pool. Today, he hired ORKIN to look in all the dark little crevices and hidey holes and they still couldn't find anyone.

As if that's not bad enough, he's been running around with Bora-Driver and having a few cocktails and the same Louisville Police that confiscated Bucktooth's keno board have issued JoeyA. a WUI (Walking Under the Influence) and put him on his first warning for a PUI (Poolplaying Under the Influence). This is the perfect time for Jay to come up for air and locate JoeyA. (while he's 3 1/2 sheets to the winds, has cast off all lines and thinks it's a perfect time to go sailing)......

Jay, you woofed it up for months and now you won't belly up to the table like a man. How can you ever show your face in any big city poolroom after this gets around ?

Doug
( play JoeyA. some one pocket and then some banks..... Joey is like a kid in a carnival just about now........and looking desperately for the nekkid lady tent ) :)

he's in good hands with Boradriver :)
 
alstl said:
John Schmidt is an AZBer. How much does Joey A want to play him for?

JoeyA says he will play Mr. Schmidt the same game they played the last time they gambled. JoeyA thinks John still has his cel# if he would like to play have him call if he doesn't have the # send me a PM and I will get them together.

alst are you at the Derby JoeyA would like to play.
 
I was supposed to play Jay a $100 set in Manila, per his "looking for action" thread. I showed up, but it never happened?
 
The AZB Room Is Filled With AZBers PRACTICING

alstl said:
John Schmidt is an AZBer. How much does Joey A want to play him for?


JoeyA. is much like Johnny Appleseed and nothing pleases Joey more than traveling around the country and throwing his money-seeds to the wind, just to see which little AZBers will sprout up. Sprout up and reach for the sky, like a California Redwood.

JoeyA. will happily play John Schmidt the same game that they played recently and for the same stakes. Joey wouldn't dream of trying to change games or high roll John.... imo

Doug
( how about you, maybe you'd like to play Joey )
 
Smorgass Bored said:
JoeyA. is much like Johnny Appleseed and nothing pleases Joey more than traveling around the country and throwing his money-seeds to the wind, just to see which little AZBers will sprout up. Sprout up and reach for the sky, like a California Redwood.

JoeyA. will happily play John Schmidt the same game that they played recently and for the same stakes. Joey wouldn't dream of trying to change games or high roll John.... imo

Doug
( how about you, maybe you'd like to play Joey )


Smorgie,

I've been so busy that I only read certain threads since around November.
But when I saw my paisan's name (JoeyA), well, I had to take a little peek into this thread.
As usual, you made me and probably many others, laugh.
Now, so much for the platitudes and accolades. Let's get down to business.

It appears that you are acting as JoeyA's spokesperson. But, are you also speaking on his behalf as his backer? You may be JoeyA's spokesman, but I am his un-official official tush-hog. Hubert "Daddy Warbucks" Cokes was one of my predecessors. Liked guns, didn't mind getting, um..."physical" and "liked the police.":) So, if you do happen to "arrange" a game for Mr. JoeyA, I would like you to go on record that you will only take .001/2 % on every $1,000.00 earned after $11,000. But, you also understand that you have to pay $1.09 on every dollar he earns for the privilege of scrounging up a game for him.
If you don't like this "deal", Mr JoeyA would like to remind you that he is familiar with an old mafia film he watched in which a gangster wrapped a dead carp in an old newspaper and throw it through a man's bedroom window who had reneged on an "arrangement." The aforementioned gangster then tossed in an old Meucci to make sure his message was clearly understood.:eek:
JoeyA deeply appreciates you pillaging these forums for a sucker, er, um, a "person who is willing wo wager on a game of skill'. But please, do not attempt to undercut, double-cross, hoodwink or bamboozle Mr JoeyA.
He has fresh doughball, yesterday's newspaper and some "friends" who consider it a deep honor to be part of his "associates."
And Smorgie, believe me, I wouldn't tell you any half truths unless they were completely accurate.:)
 
Joey Doesn't Care If He Wins Or Loses.... He Just Wants A DCC Story To Tell Back Home

Terry Ardeno said:
Smorgie,

I've been so busy that I only read certain threads since around November.
But when I saw my paisan's name (JoeyA), well, I had to take a little peek into this thread.
As usual, you made me and probably many others, laugh.
Now, so much for the platitudes and accolades. Let's get down to business.

It appears that you are acting as JoeyA's spokesperson. But, are you also speaking on his behalf as his backer? You may be JoeyA's spokesman, but I am his un-official official tush-hog. Hubert "Daddy Warbucks" Cokes was one of my predecessors. Liked guns, didn't mind getting, um..."physical" and "liked the police.":) So, if you do happen to "arrange" a game for Mr. JoeyA, I would like you to go on record that you will only take .001/2 % on every $1,000.00 earned after $11,000. But, you also understand that you have to pay $1.09 on every dollar he earns for the privilege of scrounging up a game for him.
If you don't like this "deal", Mr JoeyA would like to remind you that he is familiar with an old mafia film he watched in which a gangster wrapped a dead carp in an old newspaper and throw it through a man's bedroom window who had reneged on an "arrangement." The aforementioned gangster then tossed in an old Meucci to make sure his message was clearly understood.:eek:
JoeyA deeply appreciates you pillaging these forums for a sucker, er, um, a "person who is willing wo wager on a game of skill'. But please, do not attempt to undercut, double-cross, hoodwink or bamboozle Mr JoeyA.
He has fresh doughball, yesterday's newspaper and some "friends" who consider it a deep honor to be part of his "associates."
And Smorgie, believe me, I wouldn't tell you any half truths unless they were completely accurate.:)



Dear Tush Hog,
I 'tush hogged' for over 20 years, so I know exactly where you're coming from. JoeyA. and I have our own deal worked out and while I receive a small monetary pittance, the bulk of my reward is paid in FOOD.....
Doug
( if anyone throws a carp wrapped in newspaper through my window, they'd better throw some lemon and tartar sauce too, because I will certaily deep fry that sucker..... imo ) :)
 
Smorgass Bored said:
Dear Tush Hog,
I 'tush hogged' for over 20 years, so I know exactly where you're coming from. JoeyA. and I have our own deal worked out and while I receive a small monetary pittance, the bulk of my reward is paid in FOOD.....
Doug
( if anyone throws a carp wrapped in newspaper through my window, they'd better throw some lemon and tartar sauce too, because I will certaily deep fry that sucker..... imo ) :)

Doug,
You make me smile and laugh often.
Thanks buddy!:)
Terry

PS-I ain't never ate no carp. I'll stick with flounder. McCormick's tartar sauce is A+. Hold my lemon.
 
They Could Make a Movie Out Of This

JoeyA. just called me.... the fire alarm has just gone off at the DCC and it's a mandatory evacuation. Joey was up 6-3 in his 9 ball match and refused to leave. The fireman wrapped him in a blanket and drug him off the tournament floor. He is screaming on the phone that wants his score RECORDED and if he doesn't make it through this ordeal, he wants his tush hog to collect any cheese that he has coming.... Oy_Vey !
Doug
(maybe someone plans to rob Fatboy and The Tooth under cover of smoke ) :)
 
Smorgass Bored said:
JoeyA. just called me.... the fire alarm has just gone off at the DCC and it's a mandatory evacuation. Joey was up 6-3 in his 9 ball match and refused to leave. The fireman wrapped him in a blanket and drug him off the tournament floor. He is screaming on the phone that wants his score RECORDED and if he doesn't make it through this ordeal, he wants his tush hog to collect any cheese that he has coming.... Oy_Vey !
Doug
(maybe someone plans to rob Fatboy and The Tooth under cover of smoke ) :)


Don't be given the DUMB tush hogs food for thought.........what if they ended up like us?:confused:
 
Smorgass Bored said:
JoeyA. is much like Johnny Appleseed and nothing pleases Joey more than traveling around the country and throwing his money-seeds to the wind, just to see which little AZBers will sprout up. Sprout up and reach for the sky, like a California Redwood.

JoeyA. will happily play John Schmidt the same game that they played recently and for the same stakes. Joey wouldn't dream of trying to change games or high roll John.... imo

Doug
( how about you, maybe you'd like to play Joey )

Smorg, are you JoeyA's publicist?? If not, you should be! :-) You're a natural!
 
Tubster-- I was just watching the live feed, then it all went dead. I wonder how long it'll be before they get back going again? It was probably a false alarm. Someone said it went off a few days ago for no reason...

Doc
 
World Champee-ee-een

lodini said:
Smorg, are you JoeyA's publicist?? If not, you should be! :-) You're a natural!

I think Smorg is more like the world champion poop stirrer. He was in the DCC chat under an alias the other night and had Joey up in arms ready to fight until he admitted who he was. I was so incensed that someone would do this to my pal Joey that I had tears running down my face. Well maybe "incensed" isn't quite the right word! :D :D :D Funny Stuff!

Hu
 
Johnnyt said:
Pull the fire alarm...one of the oldest shark-moves in the book. Johnnyt


I used to do that when I was late for class.
Doug
(it's possible that Short Bus Russ rubbed his two cents together and started a flame war)

*I hope JoeyA. finally gets to see Jay Helfert. Maybe ther can play in the parking lot... :)
 
Overheard at the DCC;
Sir, is this your Louis Vuitton filled with money ?
No, I'm still looking my Meucci in my Gucci. All my money is up on the light.

Doug
 
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