Probably from the smoldering smoke from the carpet burn, when Bucktooth lit outta there.gulfportdoc said:
Hey, Jay Helfert
- Thread starter !Smorgass Bored
- Start date
And, I'm Never Too Full For Dessert
Originally Posted by Terry Ardeno
It appears that you are acting as JoeyA's spokesperson.
And I've got everything but the big hat....
Doug
( at the chinese buffet they lovingly refer to me as the Coconut Shrimp Pimp....... though it comes out sounding a little differently )
*It sounds a little more like Cuckoo Nut Shlimp Blimp
Originally Posted by Terry Ardeno
It appears that you are acting as JoeyA's spokesperson.
AuntyDan said:
And I've got everything but the big hat....
Doug
( at the chinese buffet they lovingly refer to me as the Coconut Shrimp Pimp....... though it comes out sounding a little differently )
*It sounds a little more like Cuckoo Nut Shlimp Blimp
I Hope That Jay Is OK
What's the name of the local newspaper in Louisville, KY ?
I want to check the obituaries for Jay Helfert, I'm beginning to get very worried about him.
I mean, I know that the fire dept. evacuated the DCC and I once watched a show on A&E about 'instantaneous combustion'......
Doug
What's the name of the local newspaper in Louisville, KY ?
I want to check the obituaries for Jay Helfert, I'm beginning to get very worried about him.
I mean, I know that the fire dept. evacuated the DCC and I once watched a show on A&E about 'instantaneous combustion'......
Doug
Okay, it's nearly 6 AM and I just got back to my roon about an hour ago. A typical day for me here. I woke up at 2 PM, after running the Ten Ball Ring Game until 5:30 AM. Went downstairs and visited a bit and got caught up on the tourney progress. Checked with Mark Tadd and gave him a little support.
Worked a 9-Ball match for Accu-Stats with Ted Lerner, between defending champ Niels Feijen and Tony Crosby. Made a date for dinner with Russ Chewning, but before I could go, got into a "debate" with Alex about Gabe's 60. He said it wasn't hard to make a big run on the TV table. So I bet him 500 he couldn't do a 45. He had 30 after four innings and ran a perfect 15 in his last turn to win the cash. C'est la vie.
Then I went to dinner with Russ and his wife Juanita. We had a nice dinner and talked about Pool, Poker and other fun things. Russ is one sharp cat. And so is Juanita. Got back to the venue about 7:30, did a little visiting and was asked by Pat Fleming to work a Straight Pool match to 150 between Fabio and Ralf. This match ended about 1 AM, and I got to take a night off from running the Ring Game.
So that was a typical day here for me. I played in the Banks, worked the One Pocket Challenge, did commentary for Accu-Stats, and ran the Ten Ball Ring Game (that starts at Midnite and runs until 3 to 5 AM). I also tried to visit with myriad friends, support Mark Tadd and make time for a little rest.
So if I have neglected Joey I'm very sorry. I will try to make him a priority from now on. Scout's honor! I did see Joey several times in passing, but we barely had time to talk. After the Straight Pool match, I got into a gabfest in the hall with Fatboy, Johnny A., Shannon, Truman and others. Then we sweated a couple of money games for an hour or so. About 3 AM, I stopped in the AZ room, maybe for only the third or fourth time all week. I was dead tired and ready for bed.
Steve Booth challenged me to a Bank game for 20, so I borrowed one of Russ' cues and played him. He won. Now EasyE challenged me to a game of One Pocket for 20. I went up to my room and got my cue. I won that one. Russ made a similar challenge, and I won again. I played several more games and won them all. Joey was playing the whole time on the next table. He never challenged our table! As I was leaving at 5 AM, Joey said he would be waiting for me. RIGHT!
Since I don't want to disappoint Doug or Joey, I will do my best to work in a game with them. Joey, how about a $400 Challenge match. Two games of One Pocket (we each break once) for 100 a game. Then two games of full rack Banks for 100 a game. After four games, we can do it again. What do you say?
Worked a 9-Ball match for Accu-Stats with Ted Lerner, between defending champ Niels Feijen and Tony Crosby. Made a date for dinner with Russ Chewning, but before I could go, got into a "debate" with Alex about Gabe's 60. He said it wasn't hard to make a big run on the TV table. So I bet him 500 he couldn't do a 45. He had 30 after four innings and ran a perfect 15 in his last turn to win the cash. C'est la vie.
Then I went to dinner with Russ and his wife Juanita. We had a nice dinner and talked about Pool, Poker and other fun things. Russ is one sharp cat. And so is Juanita. Got back to the venue about 7:30, did a little visiting and was asked by Pat Fleming to work a Straight Pool match to 150 between Fabio and Ralf. This match ended about 1 AM, and I got to take a night off from running the Ring Game.
So that was a typical day here for me. I played in the Banks, worked the One Pocket Challenge, did commentary for Accu-Stats, and ran the Ten Ball Ring Game (that starts at Midnite and runs until 3 to 5 AM). I also tried to visit with myriad friends, support Mark Tadd and make time for a little rest.
So if I have neglected Joey I'm very sorry. I will try to make him a priority from now on. Scout's honor! I did see Joey several times in passing, but we barely had time to talk. After the Straight Pool match, I got into a gabfest in the hall with Fatboy, Johnny A., Shannon, Truman and others. Then we sweated a couple of money games for an hour or so. About 3 AM, I stopped in the AZ room, maybe for only the third or fourth time all week. I was dead tired and ready for bed.
Steve Booth challenged me to a Bank game for 20, so I borrowed one of Russ' cues and played him. He won. Now EasyE challenged me to a game of One Pocket for 20. I went up to my room and got my cue. I won that one. Russ made a similar challenge, and I won again. I played several more games and won them all. Joey was playing the whole time on the next table. He never challenged our table! As I was leaving at 5 AM, Joey said he would be waiting for me. RIGHT!
Since I don't want to disappoint Doug or Joey, I will do my best to work in a game with them. Joey, how about a $400 Challenge match. Two games of One Pocket (we each break once) for 100 a game. Then two games of full rack Banks for 100 a game. After four games, we can do it again. What do you say?
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Dang, never thought Russ was that kind of a guy!
So Russ is married to another "cat"? I never figured he was that kind of a guy! Is "Juanita" usually introduced as "Juan" or "Jaunita"?
Teach you to try to post at five thirty in the AM Jay!
Hu
PS: Russ, you know I am just ragging on Jay!
jay helfert said:
So Russ is married to another "cat"? I never figured he was that kind of a guy! Is "Juanita" usually introduced as "Juan" or "Jaunita"?
Teach you to try to post at five thirty in the AM Jay!
Hu
PS: Russ, you know I am just ragging on Jay!
alstl said:
yes he is don't know if Joey and he will matchup or not but Joey says he will play the same game they did the last time.
Jay, Joey will get in contact with you to work out he details.
jay helfert said:
Did Truman say anything about his 9-Ball match?
Jay, I'm sorry I didn't get a chance to meet you. I had to leave yesterday afternoon after only being there since Tuesday night. It was my first time down there and it was an absolute blast. Definitely going to be back next year.
Take care and keep on truckin'!
jay helfert said:
Grrrrr!
Jay, the challenge gauntlet has been let. I accept your challenge however I would enjoy playing you for a longer period of time. Your game is a good one and I would like to give you the opportunity to show your best skills. Can we make it a race to 5 games each discipline? That's not a lot of games either but 2 games wouldn't wet my appetite for competition.
I don't like to interrupt other people when they are gambling so I would like to set an appointment time with you. That's why I didn't try to horn in on your action when your were beating on the young jakes last night. Besides you looked a little tired last night and I didn't want you to have another excuse like not having your playing cue or being tired.
Time is short. HOW ABOUT TONIGHT? What time would be good for you?
JoeyA (waiting and waiting and waiting)
Joeya
JoeyA is a good luck charm. Bet on him!!! I have known him for years, told him a quick story, and within a few minutes $1000 landed on my lap. I was hoping to parlay that dime on some side action with him playing someone, but never got a chance. I had to leave after the banks and one-hole, leaving all of the lucky nine-ball players to do their thing. Maybe if they switch to ten-ball, I'll play in that next year too.
Thanks Joey. By the way, you should have beat Shane in the one-pocket match, but that damn three ball rattled on the cross-corner bank, and that was that...
RAISE THE BET!
---michael g.
JoeyA is a good luck charm. Bet on him!!! I have known him for years, told him a quick story, and within a few minutes $1000 landed on my lap. I was hoping to parlay that dime on some side action with him playing someone, but never got a chance. I had to leave after the banks and one-hole, leaving all of the lucky nine-ball players to do their thing. Maybe if they switch to ten-ball, I'll play in that next year too.
Thanks Joey. By the way, you should have beat Shane in the one-pocket match, but that damn three ball rattled on the cross-corner bank, and that was that...
RAISE THE BET!
---michael g.
JoeyA said:Grrrrr!
Jay, the challenge gauntlet has been let. I accept your challenge however I would enjoy playing you for a longer period of time. Your game is a good one and I would like to give you the opportunity to show your best skills. Can we make it a race to 5 games each discipline? That's not a lot of games either but 2 games wouldn't wet my appetite for competition.
I don't like to interrupt other people when they are gambling so I would like to set an appointment time with you. That's why I didn't try to horn in on your action when your were beating on the young jakes last night. Besides you looked a little tired last night and I didn't want you to have another excuse like not having your playing cue or being tired.
Time is short. HOW ABOUT TONIGHT? What time would be good for you?
JoeyA (waiting and waiting and waiting)
WE WILL PLAY MR. A! I just have been a little busy this trip, and the few times I have been in the AZ Room, someone jumped on me right away. Just like last night with Eric and Roy. They both play good, so I got lucky once again.
I can't make an appointment with you because I may have things to do, like work for Accu-Stats or support Mark who is still alive in the 9-Ball. Those are my priorities today.
I like the idea of playing a few more games if time allows. Race to Five is fine with me. GRRRR!!!
jay helfert said:WE WILL PLAY MR. A! I just have been a little busy this trip, and the few times I have been in the AZ Room, someone jumped on me right away. Just like last night with Eric and Roy. They both play good, so I got lucky once again.
I can't make an appointment with you because I may have things to do, like work for Accu-Stats or support Mark who is still alive in the 9-Ball. Those are my priorities today.
I like the idea of playing a few more games if time allows. Race to Five is fine with me. GRRRR!!!
As SmorgassBored witnessed from afar, I wore out a pair of shoes searching for Jay Helfert. He was as elusive as a leprechaun. I used all of my contacts to locate him and to track him as he bounced from one place to the other, all the while leaving messages in Internet Land about this and that. When I confronted the fellow, he responded with cheer, "Sure I'll play you and for more than a beer".
With every plausible excuse a man can find, I listened patiently and hopefully didn't appear insensitive to Jay's plight. I know about charity work. My wife is involved with many charities and works from morning to night doing good deeds for one and all. Jay found work when he needed to avoid being found by me.
Jay imagined finding work when he needed to avoid a match with me. It was strange how he managed to find ample time to pluck a few young jakes. 
When fleecing the young and inexperienced, I can only imagine it is a magical moment where time is able to stand still.
We had permission to have our match shown on TAR. Justin was kind enough to give us the OK and many AZers commented that it would be a great one to watch. I think it would have been fun for those who didn't make it to the Derby City Classic.
As the tournment drew to a close, our match being lost in a conjured mist, someone in the know shouted to me, "You have been weighed, you have been measured, and you have been found wanting". LOL
JoeyA
I Could Beat SVB....... If I NEVER Showed Up ?
Dammit !
What's 25% of $0.00 ?
Btw, I PMed JoeyA.'s cellphone number to Jay four days ago and I know that he got it, but couldn't manage to set up a time to play.... LOL
Doug
( Jay=all talk and no action... just as I suspected, he talks in 100s and plays for 10s )
*Edited to add: Finding "Toupee" Jay Helfert is like finding Major "Major" in Catch-22. Click on this excellent link example of when you may see Jay and move the little red timer button to 3:30 http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CTx1QOpETvo&feature=related
.
JoeyA said:As SmorgassBored witnessed from afar, I wore out a pair of shoes searching for Jay Helfert. He was as elusive as a leprechaun. I used all of my contacts to locate him and to track him as he bounced from one place to the other, all the while leaving messages in Internet Land about this and that. When I confronted the fellow, he responded with cheer, "Sure I'll play you and for more than a beer".
With every plausible excuse a man can find, I listened patiently and hopefully didn't appear insensitive to Jay's plight. I know about charity work. My wife is involved with many charities and works from morning to night doing good deeds for one and all. Jay found work when he needed to avoid being found by me.
When fleecing the young and inexperienced, I can only imagine it is a magical moment where time is able to stand still.
We had permission to have our match shown on TAR. Justin was kind enough to give us the OK and many AZers commented that it would be a great one to watch. I think it would have been fun for those who didn't make it to the Derby City Classic.
As the tournment drew to a close, our match being lost in a conjured mist, someone in the know shouted to me, "You have been weighed, you have been measured, and you have been found wanting". LOL
JoeyA
Dammit !
What's 25% of $0.00 ?
Btw, I PMed JoeyA.'s cellphone number to Jay four days ago and I know that he got it, but couldn't manage to set up a time to play.... LOL
Doug
( Jay=all talk and no action... just as I suspected, he talks in 100s and plays for 10s )
*Edited to add: Finding "Toupee" Jay Helfert is like finding Major "Major" in Catch-22. Click on this excellent link example of when you may see Jay and move the little red timer button to 3:30 http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CTx1QOpETvo&feature=related
.
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IT'S TRUE! I ducked JoeyA all week. I know he is much to good for me, and he knows it too. I really put my foot in my mouth this time. I used all my work on Accu-Stats (I did two matches the final day and about five or six other matches the previous four days), the One Pocket Challenge and the after hours Ring Game as a convenient excuse to duck Joey. I got ample sleep all week, sometimes as much as four hours in one night, so that's no excuse either.
I even suggested to Joey that I needed to sweat and support Mark Tadd. He smelled a rat and I got caught. Now I've gone and put my foot in my mouth even deeper by agreeing to his offer of a Race To Five in One Pocket and Banks. And for several hundred dollars no less. I NEED A BACKER! I'm scared and quite worried that Joey will hold me to this and I will get scalped. Like I got any hair to spare.
Now you will all find out what an imposter I am, and how bad I really play. I wish I had never heard of JoeyA. DAMN! DAMN! DAMN! Where can I hide? Where can I run? I hear footsteps. I know he is following me, and Smorgass Bored is right behind.
I am warning all of you, when the time comes for this match, be very careful if you are thinking of betting on me. Joey is good, damn good. I saw him robbing someone in the AZ Room, almost every time I wandered by.
I guess I will have to face the music someday. I'm yours Joey. Have mercy on me please.
I even suggested to Joey that I needed to sweat and support Mark Tadd. He smelled a rat and I got caught. Now I've gone and put my foot in my mouth even deeper by agreeing to his offer of a Race To Five in One Pocket and Banks. And for several hundred dollars no less. I NEED A BACKER! I'm scared and quite worried that Joey will hold me to this and I will get scalped. Like I got any hair to spare.
Now you will all find out what an imposter I am, and how bad I really play. I wish I had never heard of JoeyA. DAMN! DAMN! DAMN! Where can I hide? Where can I run? I hear footsteps. I know he is following me, and Smorgass Bored is right behind.
I am warning all of you, when the time comes for this match, be very careful if you are thinking of betting on me. Joey is good, damn good. I saw him robbing someone in the AZ Room, almost every time I wandered by.
I guess I will have to face the music someday. I'm yours Joey. Have mercy on me please.
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Too funny.......
jay helfert said:IT'S TRUE! I ducked JoeyA all week. I know he is much to good for me, and he knows it too. I really put my foot in my mouth this time. I used all my work on Accu-Stats (I did two matches the final day and about five or six other matches the previous four days), the One Pocket Challenge and the after hours Ring Game as a convenient excuse to duck Joey. I got ample sleep all week, sometimes as much as four hours in one night, so that's no excuse either.
I even suggested to Joey that I needed to sweat and support Mark Tadd. He smelled a rat and I got caught. Now I've gone and put my foot in my mouth even deeper by agreeing to his offer of a Race To Five in One Pocket and Banks. And for several hundred dollars no less. I NEED A BACKER! I'm scared and quite worried that Joey will hold me to this and I will get scalped. Like I got any hair to spare.
Now you will all find out what an imposter I am, and how bad I really play. I wish I had never heard of JoeyA. DAMN! DAMN! DAMN! Where can I hide? Where can I run? I hear footsteps. I know he is following me, and Smorgass Bored is right behind.
I am warning all of you, when the time comes for this match, be very careful if you are thinking of betting on me. Joey is good, damn good. I saw him robbing someone in the AZ Room, almost every time I wandered by.
I guess I will have to face the music someday. I'm yours Joey. Have mercy on me please.
Well, Joey and Doug are treating Jay like he can't play, and I think they are going to be very surprised to see how wrong they are.
Boys, Jay can play pool! I don't know Joey's game one lick, but other good players just have to be very patient because Jay likes to pick the lowest fruit on the tree first. And there is a lot of easy pickin's when people think you can't play, so he moves up the tree very slowly.
I know Jay and have played Jay, and he's kind of a hustler. If you like 9 ball, then he likes banks. If you like banks, then he likes 9 ball. I have chased hustlers like Jay all my life, and just when I think I have the nuts, I find myself reaching for my wallet and scratching my head.
If you guys come out to L.A., I'll drag Jay to the pool room and you can have a shot at both of us.
Chris