Every time I went to the table to shoot, I’d walk the table gathering all the chalks.
I’d then place the chalks on one spot on the rail face up and stack 2 chalks and
have 3 stacks of chalk. I’d do it every time it was my turn to shoot.
If my opponent doesn’t take the hint and asks me why I’m doing that I’ll reply this
way. For 2 very good reasons……Having chalks all around the table distracts from
my field of vision on way too many shots. Just as important is not needlessly making
a mess of chalk dust and debris that gets deposited on the rails that eventually gets
on my bridge hand or glove. Having clean rails is very important and it’s why I do this.
I’ll do it every time it’s my turn and the more I have to do it, the slower I’ll get it done
each ensuing turn at the table. If need be, I’ll start using my Ed Norton imitation from The
Honeymooners. I’ll start stacking the chalks and keep rearranging or moving the chalks to
a different location on the table from where I just spent time previously stacking the chalks.
I know exactly how Art Carney would screw around with Ralph (Jackie Gleason) taking time
to do the simplest of acts like when he had to sign a document. When you gather the chalks,
just do it with a smile and briskly. By the 4th time, start going real slow and slower each time.
I’d take 75-90 secs or longer wiping the rails with napkins if he keeps placing chalk face down.
