Thanks BB. I was about to ask the same thing. I thought I asked about as friendly as I could?
And thanks for the other comments too!
Why do some people get mad when you ask them to gamble?
- Thread starter Woof Biscuit
- Start date
Thanks BB. I was about to ask the same thing. I thought I asked about as friendly as I could?
And thanks for the other comments too!
The logical extreme for a diplomatic invitation to gamble, assuming you're not a hustler but an honest person looking for fair action ----
"Forgive the interruption. My name's John. I wanted to ask you a question and if you say no, I'll understand in full. I was wondering if you might enjoy playing a match with me for a few dollars. I've seen you play and I think the match would be close. You'd be doing me a favor, for in my experience, the pressure of a small wager helps me to perform at a higher level. As I said, though, if you'd rather not, that's OK." The invitaiton may be accepted, but if the player does not wish to gamble, say "have a nice evening and good luck with your practice and, once again, I'm sorry to have interrupted you."
No matter how this turns out, you have treated this person with respect.
"Forgive the interruption. My name's John. I wanted to ask you a question and if you say no, I'll understand in full. I was wondering if you might enjoy playing a match with me for a few dollars. I've seen you play and I think the match would be close. You'd be doing me a favor, for in my experience, the pressure of a small wager helps me to perform at a higher level. As I said, though, if you'd rather not, that's OK." The invitaiton may be accepted, but if the player does not wish to gamble, say "have a nice evening and good luck with your practice and, once again, I'm sorry to have interrupted you."
No matter how this turns out, you have treated this person with respect.
I normally don't gamble on pool and but sometimes will play a cheap set for a few coins. I don't do it because almost always when I watch people gamble (unless they both know each other real well) it ends in some kind of mess; someone is pissed; someone is talking shit..etc etc.. seems to never end well. Also if I guy I don't know comes up to me asking me to play cheap sets and I beat him I'm wondering what is next? an increase in stakes? is he just hustling etc.. I knew a guy who played good pool that came after me with his stick after I beat him out of $10 on a cheap set. Beer, gambling sometimes makes people do weird stuff so I normally choose to stay away from the money. Just my 2 cents.
The reason I do not like to gamble is the person that loses is ALWAYS pissed off. The loser is NEVER happy afterward and the next time you see them it's awkward at best. Recently I had been playing with another retired guy just to pass the time. He asked me on several occasions to play some cheap nine ball sets. Finally I gave in ,he lost both sets and was upset, now whenever I see him he no longer wishes to play at all. I won a measley $40.00 but lost a friend and playing partner.
King hit it right on the head. Its so much more tactful to first find out if the guy gambles first, rather than put him on the spot if he doesnt. If you dont know, theres always a yenta around who knows everything. If not, make a little small talk and ask him if he ever gambles small at all.
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I play pool for enjoyment. I like the friendly competition with another person. It makes no matter if it is pool, chess, golf, or tennis, I want your best game in a friendly way. In fact I will help you play your best when and where I can. A gentlemen’s game if you will. A chess match has my full attention and every last bit of my concentration and skill at out maneuvering you. If the board gets tipped over in the middle of the match, what the hell let’s try something else.
In my life I have gambled with my future and the future of my family by my choice of occupation, the time and effort needed to create a truly good life and a future. There is much real competition in life. I like it and always stack the deck in my favor. The risks have been monumental, for me, and they have paid off in many different ways.
To play pool for ten dollars or for $1,000.00 is no gamble. I already know how well I can play, and it is the table I play against, not you. I play against the golf course, not you. To play for money against someone whose last dime, or self esteem is on the line takes away from the “game” like atmosphere.
I feel sorry for the guy with his grocery money on the line and I really don’t care much about a thousand dollars here or there (really). But life related issues, now we are talking about gambling in ways that matter. In my thinking when your life is reduced to a few bucks on a pool game, you haven’t got much of a life. I just want your best game, not your money. If you have to have money on the line, I guess you are playing with the wrong guy.
Life is full of competition and we have games for relaxation. I like to keep them separated. I don't get angry, though I understand why others like me do get angry, I simply do not do gamble on games. I am here to "play", real gambling is on the other side of the pool room door.
In my life I have gambled with my future and the future of my family by my choice of occupation, the time and effort needed to create a truly good life and a future. There is much real competition in life. I like it and always stack the deck in my favor. The risks have been monumental, for me, and they have paid off in many different ways.
To play pool for ten dollars or for $1,000.00 is no gamble. I already know how well I can play, and it is the table I play against, not you. I play against the golf course, not you. To play for money against someone whose last dime, or self esteem is on the line takes away from the “game” like atmosphere.
I feel sorry for the guy with his grocery money on the line and I really don’t care much about a thousand dollars here or there (really). But life related issues, now we are talking about gambling in ways that matter. In my thinking when your life is reduced to a few bucks on a pool game, you haven’t got much of a life. I just want your best game, not your money. If you have to have money on the line, I guess you are playing with the wrong guy.
Life is full of competition and we have games for relaxation. I like to keep them separated. I don't get angry, though I understand why others like me do get angry, I simply do not do gamble on games. I am here to "play", real gambling is on the other side of the pool room door.
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Over the last few months I have asked 3 different guys to play cheap and it seemed to really upset them. None of these folks were friends of mine or anything. My relationship with them is simply to say "hi" when I see them. They were all between 40 and mid 50's. I'm in my mid 30's. The situations have pretty much been the same. I would simply ask, "hey, do you want to play some cheap practice sets for like $10 or $20 a set?". I have never asked them in front of anyone else because I don't want them to be embarrassed if they don't want to play. I also said it quietly, so as not to be calling them out or anything. I have a really hard time focusing if it's for nothing. As far as skill goes, all three of these guys play very similar to me. Nobody really has an edge. In fact, two of the three beat me in short tournament races the last time they played me.
All three times they made an excuse that didn't make any sense and now won't make eye contact with me or speak to me first.I feel like a jerk just because I don't like anyone being upset with me. I can understand if you don't gamble. That's fine, but you don't have to get mad about it. Gambling is part of pool and always will be IMO. Anyone else have this experience or can provide perspective from their side perhaps? Thanks.
Woof Biscuit:
If I may be so bold, I think the mistake you made is not in asking to gamble, but rather in *HOW* you did it.
For example:
1. Going over to a guy's table, while he's playing friendly games with his lady (either a date, girlfriend, or wife), and asking him to gamble, is a DUMB move. You are putting him in the position of having to "choose" between you, and his lady, and you'll most often lose in that one. Personally, I laugh my *ss off when a gambling friend of mine comes over to me, batting his eyelashes oh-so-innocently, with a sob story of how he "merely went over and asked this guy to gamble, and the guy got irate in front of his girl -- I can't believe this guy was trying to show off in front of his girl!" I then explain to my gambling friend that he (my gambling friend) is a numbnuts.
2. Asking a guy who you've played before, but not carefully watched to even find out on the sly if he gambles in the first place, is not a smart move. You're putting him on the spot by not finding out first if he even gambles. And if he doesn't -- if he only plays for fun and is able to enjoy the game without "having to have something on the line," he will forever forthwith associate you with the "pool hall cretins" who "do nothing but gamble."
3. Just because you may have played a certain person in a tournament before (whether or not that person has beaten you in those tournament's notoriously short sets), does not lead to the assumption that this person gambles. Like I mentioned in the point above, some people really do enjoying playing the game just for playing the game, and are able to do so without "having to have something on the line." Those types get VERY offended by being asked to play for money -- they feel as though they're being tricked into shark-infested waters. Sort of like, "well, if he wants to play $20 sets right at the outset, where is this going to lead? $50 sets? $100 sets? The emptying of my wallet?"
4. Asking someone to play "cheap" $20 sets is a LOADED question. First, some folks don't consider $20 gambling to be "cheap" -- especially a working man who only plays for fun. Playing for a beer, or even $5, ok -- but not $20 sets. You'll DEFINITELY rub a non-gambling type the wrong way with this request right out of the chute, and he/she will avoid contact with you from here-on-out.
Personally, I gamble occasionally, and enjoy the pressure it puts on me. I'll do $20, $50, or $100 sets (or a single race to 150, if we playing straight pool) for that reason -- that sum is enough to put a bite on me if I lose. But at the same time, the places I play can be considered a bit trendy, and I am familiar with the other type of clientele -- those that play for the enjoyment of play alone. I understand their position.
-Sean
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JC
Coos Cues
I don't know why people call 5-10 dollar sets gambling. Gambling is when you stand to be hurt if you lose. Where you can't pay the rent or feed the kids. That's a gamble. Playing for cheap is giving the game a nominal meaning so you're not just banging balls which gets old fast and breeds poor habits. These same people who play even with you but won't put a dime on it will sit in front of the lottery machine and feed twenties in like there's no bottom to their wallet. With absolutely no measurable chance of winning. I have a much better chance winning a 9 ball race to five with any player alive than beating a machine designed to steal my money by mathematicians. A much better chance and it will take longer to do thus minimizing my cost per minute of my life spent. It's just too personal for some to lose to another human, which I don't quite understand. If you expect me to believe you can't afford it I better not see you over at those machines in a few minutes.
95% of your pool players are recreational players, not gamblers.....its hard to get someone to play for a beer, let alone cash...by asking them, in there mind it was like a stranger coming up to you and asking for $10-20. There are some easy marks out there, but they be elusive as the White whale. Dont get me wrong, it is okay to ask if they would like to play a few sets for the green but most just think your trying to rob them. In my area it is the same 10 or so people that gamble, try playing for a drink or table time first then see if they or someone else softens up and wants to play. I would put the word around that on a certin day each week you would like to play a couple sets for cash ($10-20 sets), we have a golf game (snooker table)in town that is preety regular.
P.S. if your playing for anything, cash, drinks, table time, remember it is always gambling...the amount does not decide if your gambling or just pushing balls around the table....OTB
P.S. if your playing for anything, cash, drinks, table time, remember it is always gambling...the amount does not decide if your gambling or just pushing balls around the table....OTB
Over the last few months I have asked 3 different guys to play cheap and it seemed to really upset them. None of these folks were friends of mine or anything. My relationship with them is simply to say "hi" when I see them. They were all between 40 and mid 50's. I'm in my mid 30's. The situations have pretty much been the same. I would simply ask, "hey, do you want to play some cheap practice sets for like $10 or $20 a set?". I have never asked them in front of anyone else because I don't want them to be embarrassed if they don't want to play. I also said it quietly, so as not to be calling them out or anything. I have a really hard time focusing if it's for nothing. As far as skill goes, all three of these guys play very similar to me. Nobody really has an edge. In fact, two of the three beat me in short tournament races the last time they played me.
All three times they made an excuse that didn't make any sense and now won't make eye contact with me or speak to me first.
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Getting mad is often the reaction when someone tries to put their hand in your pocket.....
A lot of people perceive offers to gamble as someone is trying to rob them.
A lot of people perceive offers to gamble as someone is trying to rob them.
"Gambling is when you stand to be hurt if you lose. Where you can't pay the rent or feed the kids. That's a gamble." Wrong, that is irresponsible and just plain stupidity.
The rest of your post? You forgot to put 'sometimes', 'some of the people I see that won't gamble' or 'IMO'.
No way you reference the majority of people that play pool but won't bet on it.
'I better not see you over at those machines in a few minutes.' why? you have 0 say in what others do with their $.
The rest of your post? You forgot to put 'sometimes', 'some of the people I see that won't gamble' or 'IMO'.
No way you reference the majority of people that play pool but won't bet on it.
'I better not see you over at those machines in a few minutes.' why? you have 0 say in what others do with their $.
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Ganbling
As Art Linkletter used to say (people are funny). Gambling is personal. $1,5, 100, doesn't really matter. Some people don't like to hand people money. I don't consider myself a gambler on the pool table, but I assure you after forty something years of playing I am still in the black. Years and years of cheap games and many more beer games all add up over time. My gambling dollars go to the racetrack and craps. They give ODDS. Pool players don'tgive odds! Two dollar ex box costs $4 and even with the favorites pays $15. Play longer horses and win $100. Above all when I leave the casino, no one ever says I need to give them a chance to win their money back! You did nothing wrong. Next time ask someone to just play for table time and in time maybe play cheap. I play a guy one poc that kills me! He doesn't gamble and I could care less. I don't need his money and he doesn't need mine. It goes both ways. You should also not be befuddled when people won't gamble.
Over the last few months I have asked 3 different guys to play cheap and it seemed to really upset them. None of these folks were friends of mine or anything. My relationship with them is simply to say "hi" when I see them. They were all between 40 and mid 50's. I'm in my mid 30's. The situations have pretty much been the same. I would simply ask, "hey, do you want to play some cheap practice sets for like $10 or $20 a set?". I have never asked them in front of anyone else because I don't want them to be embarrassed if they don't want to play. I also said it quietly, so as not to be calling them out or anything. I have a really hard time focusing if it's for nothing. As far as skill goes, all three of these guys play very similar to me. Nobody really has an edge. In fact, two of the three beat me in short tournament races the last time they played me.
All three times they made an excuse that didn't make any sense and now won't make eye contact with me or speak to me first.
As Art Linkletter used to say (people are funny). Gambling is personal. $1,5, 100, doesn't really matter. Some people don't like to hand people money. I don't consider myself a gambler on the pool table, but I assure you after forty something years of playing I am still in the black. Years and years of cheap games and many more beer games all add up over time. My gambling dollars go to the racetrack and craps. They give ODDS. Pool players don'tgive odds! Two dollar ex box costs $4 and even with the favorites pays $15. Play longer horses and win $100. Above all when I leave the casino, no one ever says I need to give them a chance to win their money back! You did nothing wrong. Next time ask someone to just play for table time and in time maybe play cheap. I play a guy one poc that kills me! He doesn't gamble and I could care less. I don't need his money and he doesn't need mine. It goes both ways. You should also not be befuddled when people won't gamble.
This isnt true for all players. Some people who want to gamble will ask you if you want to play.. you say no then they ask you again, you still say no and then they try to alter the game some to get you to play, you still say no...
When you dont want to gamble, it can be frustrating. I think it happens more with the players hounding someone to play then with them simply saying OK and walking away.
How to ask.... Well here's one way.
That way you can ask him to play without asking him to play and if he doesn't want to play he might steer you to some action. And you can even do it without lying to him.
Hi, John. I'd like your help. You know some of the players here that I don't know very well, and you have a pretty good idea of how I play -- you saw how I played against that guy from Oakville last weekend. I'd like to get a game for small stakes just to keep it interesting, but I don't want to get in too far over my head. Maybe $10 or $20 race to 5. Who would you suggest that would be a reasonable match for me? I already asked Dave, but he's a little short. (This is a joke, since Dave is 6'7".)
That way you can ask him to play without asking him to play and if he doesn't want to play he might steer you to some action. And you can even do it without lying to him.
My local pool room has/had several top pro players! To get better I play better players! These players are friends with a few exceptions! At that level of dedication and commitment money is "TIGHT" for them. The best case scenario with them playing me is we break even as crazy as that sounds giving a proper spot. If I win then they are short! These guys are not millionaires!
I would feel awful if i hurt a friend and I think they would feel bad if they hurt me! So, we don't gamble! We play for the table time or cheap sets because its good practice for them as well as me only!
I suggest the OP call out the best player in the house for some cheap action. its better to learn from playing better players than playing mid level guys and the better road dog would appreciate it! Most of the time they come in and the room goes silent with everyone running the other way.
kd
I would feel awful if i hurt a friend and I think they would feel bad if they hurt me! So, we don't gamble! We play for the table time or cheap sets because its good practice for them as well as me only!
I suggest the OP call out the best player in the house for some cheap action. its better to learn from playing better players than playing mid level guys and the better road dog would appreciate it! Most of the time they come in and the room goes silent with everyone running the other way.
kd
cheeseroller
Registered
League players??
Maybe they are all league players.
Most league players wouldn't bet a dime that water was wet!!
Leagues have taken the competitive and gambling heart out of pool.
Over the last few months I have asked 3 different guys to play cheap and it seemed to really upset them. None of these folks were friends of mine or anything. My relationship with them is simply to say "hi" when I see them. They were all between 40 and mid 50's. I'm in my mid 30's. The situations have pretty much been the same. I would simply ask, "hey, do you want to play some cheap practice sets for like $10 or $20 a set?". I have never asked them in front of anyone else because I don't want them to be embarrassed if they don't want to play. I also said it quietly, so as not to be calling them out or anything. I have a really hard time focusing if it's for nothing. As far as skill goes, all three of these guys play very similar to me. Nobody really has an edge. In fact, two of the three beat me in short tournament races the last time they played me.
All three times they made an excuse that didn't make any sense and now won't make eye contact with me or speak to me first.
Maybe they are all league players.
Most league players wouldn't bet a dime that water was wet!!
Leagues have taken the competitive and gambling heart out of pool.
this is dancing around the IMO. All pool rooms have had these guys for many years and years. The ones who do gamble with them have been warned and usually well aware and go ahead and put themselves through it.
not many are gonna do any ***** slapping as that takes a degree of heart and some risk too.
Times have changed so much. Few carry any cash to amount to anything anymore as it has become the ATM society. When we see them head to the ATM it chops the incentive in half.
I have to wonder, why does anyone get so worked up over $10-$20 sets anyway? If one thinks about it, it is hardly enough to make any difference to anyone. It proves nothing. In the older days if we beat someone out of $40, we wondered what it costs us.
Over the last few months I have asked 3 different guys to play cheap and it seemed to really upset them. None of these folks were friends of mine or anything. My relationship with them is simply to say "hi" when I see them. They were all between 40 and mid 50's. I'm in my mid 30's. The situations have pretty much been the same. I would simply ask, "hey, do you want to play some cheap practice sets for like $10 or $20 a set?". I have never asked them in front of anyone else because I don't want them to be embarrassed if they don't want to play. I also said it quietly, so as not to be calling them out or anything. I have a really hard time focusing if it's for nothing. As far as skill goes, all three of these guys play very similar to me. Nobody really has an edge. In fact, two of the three beat me in short tournament races the last time they played me.
All three times they made an excuse that didn't make any sense and now won't make eye contact with me or speak to me first.
Think part of the problem is people are have a tough time making end meet in many cases. People have no money to put at risk in many cases.
If you are as you say polite, don't let it bug you as you are like a salesman. Salesman don't sell ever prospect, salesmen get a lot of rejection, but a good salesman just keep trying to make a sale.
Here's how I approach it.
"Hi, howya doin'?"
"Would you care to play a little bit? "
"We can play for a little cash or table time or nothing at all, whatever you're comfortable with. It is all ok with me."
The only problem with this approach is that you are committed to playing no matter the response, cash or not. On the other hand you may make a new friend. I have never seen anyone get really bent out of shape with this approach, although some still feel I'm trying to get in their wallets.
"Hi, howya doin'?"
"Would you care to play a little bit? "
"We can play for a little cash or table time or nothing at all, whatever you're comfortable with. It is all ok with me."
The only problem with this approach is that you are committed to playing no matter the response, cash or not. On the other hand you may make a new friend. I have never seen anyone get really bent out of shape with this approach, although some still feel I'm trying to get in their wallets.